i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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