I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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