My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
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Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
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So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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