I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
