I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
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The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
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At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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