id be glad to
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think i got beer on your cat.
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