never play flip cup with pint glasses
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
