my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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