I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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