yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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