Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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