We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
