i permit you to call me
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
