Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
