So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
