Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
