I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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