the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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