some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
