Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
