i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
