You're completely useless in the revolution.
"it" just moved
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize