i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
now i know why i became what i already was.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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