ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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