Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
