these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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