i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
