I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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