12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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