I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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