She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
