She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you traded sex for a burrito?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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