I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize