It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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