Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
