let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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