there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
