I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
