: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
