your parents love me but you hate me
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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