Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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