It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
