No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
