I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
