Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize