I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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