you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
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We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
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which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When did angry sex become our thing?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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