new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
