I'm jealous of your bromance
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Randomize
