I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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