Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
