i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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