I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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