I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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