Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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