just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
