she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
