if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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