The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Actions speak louder than pants.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
