i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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