I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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