I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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