Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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